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In a couple previous posts I mentioned the LDD book and recommended it to couples that are interested in the LDD lifestyle. I must admit, I offered this recommendation not having read the book myself. I had read several of the partial chapters posted on the Mr. LovingDD website. Due to financial contraints I felt I couldn't afford it until after Christmas. I broke down one day a couple of weeks ago and got the book anyway. I got it in the mail probably 3 days ago and I have read the whole thing. I couldn't put it down. Wow, what an awesome instruction manual for TTWD. I have now turned it over to J. I hope that he reads it with an open heart. I look forward to and yet dread when he finishes the book.
I already have an idea what kind of contract I want to make with J. The book speaks of two types of contracts. One is an open-ended type of contract that allows him to punish me whenever he feels that it is necessary. The other type of contract is a set of rules that list punishable offenses. I want a contract with J that includes both. I want a list of rules that I have to follow, but I don't want him to feel limited to just those. I want him to feel free to punish me for whatever he feels is necessary, but I also need a list of rules that spells out specific punishable offences. For example, Rule #1 might be taking my medicine every day. A second rule might be taking care when driving his pick-up. No speeding, talking on the cell, etc. But, I don't want him to feel limited to just the specific rules. If a situation comes up that he feels a spanking is warranted I want him to feel free to do that even if it's not a "Rule" so to speak.
I want him to know that in my "sane" state of mind, such as it is, I will willingly submit to whatever punishment he deems necessary. I may not willingly submit when the time comes at first, because I know me, but I hope through discipline that I will more willingly submit and hopefully grow as an individual, woman and girlfriend. I desire this greatly. I have so many capabilities that could really advance me in my own life if I would just buckle down and do it. This takes discipline of which I seem to have none. I truly believe I need J's help to do it.
Until next time...
Jadedjewel
I would really like to know how to get involved in the Fantasy Friday stories. Somewhere I saw where the pictures were posted and a short story started that we could complete and I can't find it. I have tried looking through my blogs and I'm afraid it was before I knew how to save them or I keep missing it. Anyway, if someone could tell me the blogspot that it originates from that would be helpful. Thank you all very much.
Otherwise, things are going good. We got a deer this weekend. Nice muley buck. Probably about 3 but had a very nice rack. I have a picture but it has J in it so probably won't post it. For my second year deer hunting not bad at all. J hasn't been hunting in several years so it was rather exciting all the way around. I apologize for not posting as often, but J got laid off until March, so he is home and we've been gone a lot.
So I must run again. Back to Christmas baking. You all have a wonderful day and talk to you soon!
BETTER TO REGRET SOMETHING YOU DID, THEN SOMETHING YOU DIDN'T!
Until next time,
Jadedjewel
Sorry, everyone! I haven't posted since last weekend. I have been doing some Christmas baking, finishing up on laundry, keeping up on the dishes, several unexpected calls from work, and we had a friend pass away just yesterday. Throw in a little deer hunting in the middle of that and needless to say I have been a busy girl. Not much computer time when you stay busy...hmmm imagine that. Well, I'm not busy today, so without further ado, let us continue on this wonderful venture we call LDD.
I believe that J is getting the hang of it. He told me this weekend that if I wanted LDD he was fine with that and he would work on getting more comfortable with the spanking part of it. However, there are other ways to discipline without spanking. Granted, they don't offer the catharsis, but between J and me, very effective. Let me explain. The other night J went to bed early (I'll get to the dishes, I promise). He told me I could stay up and I told him I would be to bed about 9:30. Guess what? I didn't get to bed at 9:30. No, it was more like 1:00. The next day was his birthday, and of course I was tired. To top it off I had a morning shift at 7:00 and then I got called in on another shift until 5:00. I didn't get any rest, no cake baked, nothing done for his birthday. He understood because I did end up working all day 7:00-5:00 so that wasn't a big deal. But he wasn't tired and I was. Too bad for me, I had to stay up with him anyway. It was his birthday and he wasn't going to bed right away and he told me he went to bed early in the first place so he could stay up tonight with me. So we were staying up. He didn't allow me to be grouchy about it either. It doesn't sound bad, but when I get tired I want to go to bed right now or I get grumpy. No bed and no grumpy about it. It was my fault for staying up all night. We had a nice evening and I made him some peanut butter fudge so it wasn't a total disaster, but I don't think I'll be staying up late for a while.
I do have one bad thing to report. I threw a fit later that night about something, probably because I was tired. J wasn't happy about it, but he simply told me that if I wanted to throw a fit I could do it with someone else. That stopped me in my tracks. Maybe I was hoping for a spanking, but apparantly that wasn't the best way to go about it. Instead, I almost lost him. I am NEVER throwing another fit about anything ever again. I don't want to lose the only man that has ever loved me. God, I am so stupid sometimes. Oh, help.
OK, back to the dishes. I read J all the posts and comments. I even read him my comments back to my readers. When I read to him the comments regarding just using the "command tone" and telling me to just do it and that he probably wouldn't even have to spank me, he did just that. He was going out to clean out his pick-up. I had until the time he was done to have one load running in the dishwasher and another load ready to go in. Not that I was pushing or anything, but I did tell him if he wasn't serious it wasn't going to do any good in the long run. He asked me if I wanted a spanking now to show me how serious he was. It had been over a week since he had bought me dishwasher soap. By the time he was done with his pick-up, every dish in the house was rinsed and ready to go and the dishwasher was running. The kitchen was almost clean. The kitchen hasn't been clean for months. He came inside and looked around almost in shock. "That's all it took?" he asked me. I told him yep and asked him if he was impressed. "Yes, very impressed." I do have another load ready to go in the dishwasher and I will have that done before J gets home from work tonight. So the dishes are done, and we can chalk one up for LDD! YEAH!!
The "motivation" he gave me has spilt over into other parts of my life. I actually got some Christmas baking done. I hadn't done any of that yet. I also got the rest of the kitchen cleaned up. The deep freeze was impossible to get into because of the stacks of papers and other stuff on it. I cleared a place for the dishwasher, so it wasn't in the middle of the kitchen and watered all my plants, for which I am sure they are extremely grateful. Not too bad for the naughty, lazy girl for I've been for quite a while. I am trying to be better because I know that it pleases J. Not to mention, it keeps me out of trouble. ;)
Until next time...
Jadedjewel
I don't have a lot of time to blog much, but 90% of the dishes are done. I'll tell you all more about it tommorrow.
Have a great weekend everyone! I'll leave you with one of my favorite quotes:
IF SENSE WERE COMMON, EVERYONE WOULD HAVE IT!
Until next time,
Jadedjewel
Wow! I have to say J surprises everytime I turn around. I love him so much and his love for me overflows in my heart.
Those of you that have read my posts know I have my faults. I have some horrible behaviors that need to be addressed. J has seen my faults in action. Yet, dispite all of that, he tells me that I'm a good girl. He is comparing our relationship to the previous one he was in for 12 years. He told me last night that he wouldn't have had a problem with spanking her at all, because she was naughty and mean to him all the time. Sometimes, they would get in an argument and she would hit him or throw things at him. She was very controlling and abusive to him.
Our relationship is so different than that. We have love and freedom within the limits we have given each other. Neither one of us trys to "control" the other. Yes, I have my faults which he has seen, but he doesn't see them as very bad. I guess because even then I am not mean to him. Yes, I do cause him to worry sometimes, but because I don't put him through what she did, he will scold me, sometimes serverly, but he has a serious problem spanking me. He doesn't see any reason, too. As far as he is concerned, I don't do anything wrong, at least nothing serious enough to warrant a spanking.
I know that LDD is based on love, not hate. Because we have so much love in our relationship and I trust him so much, I introduced LDD to him. I know it will just help us grow. He sees it as a task he doesn't want to do because he loves me too much and has a hard time seeing me cry. He doesn't want to hurt me, because everything in his being is telling him, I don't deserve it. "She" deserved it, but not me.
J knows I want this, but he's not sure he wants it. I get lots of "good girl" spankings, which are quite enjoyable, but discipline spankings not so much. I have asked for stress relief spankings, just to have that catharsis that comes with it, but he isn't comfortable with them either, because they still require him to spank me hard enough to cry. He is my gentle giant full of tenderness and compassion.
Of course, I do try my best to behave myself, however, I'm still sitting in a dirty house without motivation, so I really do need him to tell me what to do. To take "control" without being "controlling". Some of you that have lived through what I have will understand this. Maybe some of you won't. It seems a fine line, but ultimately there is a big difference.
Ladies, if your man seems to be having a hard time with this, then consider yourself very lucky. If he didn't love me as much as he did, he wouldn't struggle with the idea like he does. It's a lot easier to spank someone that makes you angry all the time, then someone who hardly ever does. Past experiences can also make this easier or harder for your man.
So, I wait patiently. I continue to read to him. I know he will come around. He has told me he is seriously considering this, but even then I don't know that I will be publishing a lot of posts about spankings as of yet. It all takes time and indroducing a whole new lifestyle can be daunting.
I appreciate the comments people have left and encourage others to do so. Like I said before, I read every one. I might respond and I might not, but it's encouraging to know that people do care and have thoughts they like to share. I encourage all to leave comments, and as I read others posts, I will try to be more consistant in leaving them, too.
Until next time...
Jadedjewel
Ok, I don't normally write two posts in one day, but I need some advice.
My house is a mess. It's almost overwhelming. We live in a small one bedroom duplex and everything has to be put in it's place for our home to remain liveable. We also have two dogs and a cat. We have accumulated four large appliances since moving in which severly cut into floor and storage space. I know I can get it cleaned up if I worked on it a little each day, but I just can't seem to get motivated. J wants it cleaned up, but he doesn't feel right telling me to do it. I need him to tell me to do it, because I don't want to do it. I need him to take control of the situation. We need a plan of action. Anybody have a suggestion that a hesitant HOH would be comfortable with?
I read it to him, didn't want to, but I did. All I have to say is I'm a lucky girl to have a forgiving HOH. I know I'll be luckier when he's not so forgiving, however, I'm not exactly looking forward to my next discipline spanking. I much prefer good-girl spankings.
***I will call my HOH "J" from now on. He has agreed to let me do this here. The reason for me asking this of him is I find myself detaching emotionally from the blog because I can't put his name in here. This is, and should be I think, a very intimate and personal thing for me. I don't want to detach myself from my blog in any way. I want to truly speak from the heart. I hope to touch the hearts of my readers. I wish to portray LDD in a positive light.
Due to the nature of the content that this post has led me on I must include this warning:
DO NOT introduce LDD into an already abusive relationsip. This could possibly have detremental effects to you. You could possibly end up in a Master/Slave relationship from which it could take years to escape. My best advice would be to LEAVE IMMEDIATELY. Call the National Domestic Abuse Hotline at 1-800-799-7233. They will connect you to the closest office that can protect you and help you get out. They will relocate you to any location of your choice, including state to state, and provide you with the resources to get resettled. ***DO IT AFRAID, JUST DO IT***
A proper canidate for your HOH will already be compassionate, giving, kind, and love you unconditionally. Please pardon the "canidate" word, dear HOHs. Suggestions?
It's such a beautiful thing that LDD brings to the hearts of those that make this a part of their life. Many of us, including me, call LDD a "lifestyle" and "TTWD" (this thing we do). I think it's such a natural part of life that I almost don't understand why it isn't the norm. It's the internal make-up God has given us, and it's something, it seems, that every woman out there that's "missing something" is looking for. Could you imagine the marriages that could be saved? The broken hearts that could be healed? The children that would grow up so happy and healthy with the dad and mom God gave them? Could you imagine the change in America if we all adopted this "lifestyle"?
There is nothing wrong with being a strong woman. Emotionally we are strong. God made us that way. But that also makes us build walls, become stubborn and illogical. Thank the Lord that He gave us to sensible, logical, stronger counterparts to keep our emotions in check. Checks and balances. It's the way it's supposed to be. So natural.
I want to make a call to all women everywhere to give back the reins to whom they belong. Learn how to make this a part of your life. Learn how to "build" your man to be your perfect HOH. Start submitting now. This DOESN'T mean become a doormat. It means to allow him to say yea or nay without you pitching a fit. If he asks you to do something, smile and do it. Don't push his buttons. Behave yourself at all times. Remember you don't really want a Discipline spanking and you don't want to force him to having to give you one. Trust me, it is possible to screw up all by yourself without trying to.
Introduce it slowly!!!!!!!! BE PATIENT!!!!!! If he truly loves you this will be very hard for him and it may take him some time, even months, to get comfortable with the idea of spanking you. Respect that. Do not brat, or be naughty on purpose to push him to spank you. J and I have been together for 3 months shy of two years. He has spanked me in the bedroom pretty much from the beginning. But "Discipline" spanking is a whole other ball game. You are asking him to hurt you. You are asking him to make you cry. You are asking A HELL OF A LOT. I recommend purchasing Loving Domestic Discipline, reading it cover to cover and then giving it to your future HOH and allowing him all the time in the world he needs to read and absorb it.
It may seem that your HOH is not "getting it" (understanding what LDD is about and your desperate need for it). But in actuality, ladies, this is not true. Men's brains are not empty, anymore than yours is. Men are very analytical and once they choose to do something, they usually do it. They must be allowed the time to make that choice. When you introduce the LDD into your life the first thing they think about is all the things they have been taught about girls and all the things that could go wrong. Then once they get past that, and if you're patient he will, then they start thinking can I really do this? I love her, can I really do that to her? Can I really make her cry? Can I spank her properly? Can I push myself to do that? This seems to me the process that takes the most time.
If you continue to be as submissive as possible, then you will see his confidence grow. He will begin using the "command tone". Do not baulk at this or you'll blow it. He may even begin giving little "threats". This is a sign of progress. He is starting to open up to the fact that he is the man and he wears the pants. He is also opening to the idea of spanking you. You may have recieved a spanking or two by this time, probably in the bedroom. This is his way of testing the waters. This might be a good time to introduce him to blogs about LDD on the internet, if he is interested, or start your own. You're starting to get excited and might be trying to rush things a bit. DON'T. Again, be patient. It's decision time and you don't want to influence that decision negatively. I know, I almost blew it myself last week. This is the point where J is now.
What happens next? After this point I am relatively unhelpful. We are not there yet. There are many books and blogs out there that address the advanced stages of LDD. I hope to lead you through our progress to that stage. If anyone feels they have an answer to that queston for me...please comment. I love the comments, even if they are just short ones. I read every one.
Until next time...
Jadedjewel
