Our Story

I met my HOH in February 2008.  I was working as a bartender in a local bar and he was a customer.  Not the kind of customer that sits at the bar and makes as much noise as possible, but the quiet kind.  He sat at a table, by himself, against the wall and facing the bar, so he could watch everything going on.  Possibly watching me?  He looked familiar, but I couldn't place him.  He would have a couple of beers and then leave.  He did this for a week or so before I finally approached him in friendly conversation - "Who are you and where do I know you from?" I demanded.  He looked up at me kind of surprised, yet amused and said he had been wondering the same thing.  Turns out he was a customer of mine when I worked at a convenience store in a nearby town.  I wasn't interested in anybody then, the pain of my previous relationship still fresh in my heart.  It would be over a year and half before I ran into him again at the bar.  He later moved up to the bar to be closer to me while I worked.  He never stayed long, but always left me with a smile and a promise he would try to come by the next day.

We went out on our first date a few weeks later, after we got through some semi-political BS at work, and I got my boss' approval to date him.  I had to cancel our original first date.  We had a wonderful time.  He was the gentle giant, the perfect gentleman.
Ok not exactly a giant, but at almost 6' and 240 lbs, he's no small boy!  Not complaining!

When we arrived back at my apartment, the police had the apartment building surrounded with yellow tape and we couldn't get to my door.  There had been a killing in our apartment building!!  We live in a little po-dunk down in great plains Nebraska, (population less than 5000), where that kind of stuff in unheard of, so needless to say, it was quite the night. 

Anyway, my HOH was not pushy at all when I hesitated to give him a "first date kiss", and told him that as of yet, no men were allowed in my apartment, then sent him home.  It was almost like he was handling a fragile teacup so gentle he was with me and in respecting my wishes. That was quite a memorable first date.

Anyway, we discovered that we had almost everything in common, except perhaps, our upbringing.  Fishing, Camping, Hunting (Never done, always wanted), Music, Pool, Bowling, Gardening, Dogs (Always wanted a big dog, but afraid of dogs, so just had a cat).  So many things...to many to list.  He loved doing all the things I loved doing and desired to do, but never got the chance. Whenever I allowed a man into my life, usually within two months of leaving the last one, he was unsupportive or abusive.  I was stuck in the house all the time.  I am an outdoor girl and that was like feeling trapped continuously in some dark and angry hole.  No curtains were allowed to be opened, no sunlight, no air, just dank and dark.  I hated it and I never wanted to live like that again.
 
Being single, I was able to have my curtains and windows open, I had a beautiful vine growing in the corner with a couple of other plants I had gathered along the way and I wasn't living in constant fear.  "NO MEN ALLOWED IN MY APARTMENT, EVER!!" was a written rule on my refrigerator, posted via sticky note by yours truly, to prevent myself from stupidly involving myself with strange men.  There were a couple of occasions that I made an exception, because a friend brought her husband with her. Perfectly acceptable.  However, due to previous abuse, I was susceptable to any smooth talker that came along. All I wanted was to be loved, but I was going to be smarter this time. 

My HOH and I fell in love a few months later and it felt so complete.  He was kind, caring, attentive, strong, and handsome.  How could I not love a man like that?  He was everything I had always wanted, but told myself I wasn't good enough to have.  He has told me many times that he doesn't deserve me and refuses to believe me when I say it's the other way around.  It upsets him a little when I say that, because he doesn't like me thinking so little of myself, so I usually keep that precious bit knowledge to myself.  I don't deserve him and I never will!!  But, he loves me unconditionally.  That is a precious, precious thing that I will treasure for as long as the Good Lord allows it.

We have been together ever since and I still have every window in the house open as long as weather permits and I never put the curtains down unless we want some privacy.  I even leave them open at night!  We have two dogs, one really big black Lab/German wirehair and one mid-sized really cute yellow Boxer/Rot/Lab mix.  This year will be my second year deer hunting and we go fishing and camping every chance we get.  I have a garden outside and a forest inside.  I have homemade bread in my new deep freeze and for the first time ever I have an electric dishwasher! I have flowers out in the front yard that I tend to, and when we get bored with all that, we go to our favorite hang-out, have dinner and shoot some pool!  He has been unbelievably supported in anything I wish to do and if it doesn't work out he is always there encouraging me to try again.

Life is wonderful!  We have respect, love, caring, honesty, intimacy, peace and so much more in our relationship.

So, perhaps you are asking why is LDD needed or even wanted in our relationship?  Or perhaps you are asking yourself why, after so much abuse, would I even be interested in being spanked at all?  Well, I will try my best to answer that question in my next post.


Thank you so much and I do hope you enjoy reading these posts as much as I enjoy writing them.  It is such a relief to get my experiences, emotions and story out in writing.  I recommend to anyone to open a blog in an area of interest to you and write your own experiences down.  You might find yourself a little less stressed and possibly a little cleansed.