HOLY BUCKETS!

I have so much to talk about.  So much to say.  I guess I will start with this:

I am sitting here today talking to you on a very sore bottom.  I'm not sure what happened, but something in J clicked.  He read my post yesterday while I was at work.  Not sure what he was thinking about the rest of the time, but I got one heck of a spanking last night when I got home.  I was begging him to stop.  I was starting to get mad at him because he wouldn't.  I was seriously wondering what the heck I was thinking.  But I'm jumping ahead of myself.

J picked me up from work and he was still J, but I could tell something was on his mind. On our way home everything was light and good.  I told him about my day at work.  I started singing a song along with the radio, which I often do.  I believe it was "You Should Have Said No" by Taylor Swift.  I know this song by heart and sing it with gusto.  J asked me why women like songs like these.  I looked at him and said I don't know.  He said something about women generalizing men, and I looked at him told him he was generalizing women.  This little discusion continued until we pulled up to the house.  That's how long the song played.  As we walked into the house, I proceded to inform him that it was just one song, by one artist, about one guy, therefore the song is not generalized at all in the first place.  He told me to go get the damn dogs. 

What?  I looked up at him and said exactly that.  "You heard me."  I studied his face for a moment, trying to read his mind.  I noticed the little twinkle in his eye and a grin playing on the corner of his lips, but he was serious.  He is testing the waters, to see how I will react.  I love him for it.  He is accepting his role with grace, just like everything else he does.  In the LDD book, the second chapter is on submission.  It states in there that the HOH should give random orders to help with the woman's obedience.  I'm thinking he read that part.   I wasn't sure what he was up to, but I tagged the behavior as "bratting?!", something we women do to when we want a spanking. Was he wanting to give me one?  Hmmm...

I went and got the dogs.  I sat down next to him and we talked some more about TTWD.  I asked him if he was trying to bait me into an argument.  J looked at me with that little grin of his and said maybe.  I looked at him serious, but playfully and told him if he was looking for a reason to spank me I wasn't aware that he needed one and he probably had plenty anyway.  Apparantly he wanted to give me one and I wasn't going to turn him down.  He said ok, then what is the spanking for?  He believes that there needs to be a logical reason and purpose behind the spanking.  I don't think there is anything wrong with that, because it gives both of us a goal to strive for. 

Hindsight being 20/20, I can think of a lot better reasons then the one I gave him.  I guess in some ways I want him to call me on things, but I need to call myself on them and then allow J to help me.  I think because I am so overwhelmed with all the things I should be doing and all the things I've done wrong or not done at all, it's hard to pinpoint one thing for him to spank me for.  I want the release that comes with the tears, so I just told him stress relief.  A practice spanking, sort of.  A way for him to get comfortable with spanking me without the added duress of it being for punishment.  I think he was a little disappointed in my answer, but he didn't argue the point.  I want him to go at his own pace, so he can get comfortable with his own technique.  But again, there are a lot better reasons I could have given him than that.  Maybe another day, another post.

Needless to say, I ended up over J's knee.  He was in one of our kitchen chairs and it was a little difficult at first to get adjusted where I didn't feel like I was falling off of his lap, but we got it figured out.  J spanked me for a long time.  I tried to get off of his lap, but he placed his hand gently on my back and held me down.  I kicked and he locked my legs with his.  I wiggled and he held me tighter.  He spanked until I begged I couldn't take anymore.  He said nope, you wanted this.  He continued for a long time.  After a while he let me up and held me.  He asked me if I wanted more.  I told him yes I could take more, I wasn't crying yet.  (He asked me that today, I told him no way!)  :)~  He took me over his knee again.  We did this about three more times.  It is actually really hard for me to cry, but he almost got me there.  I was crying a few tears when he was done with me. 

I have a very, very sore bottom today and it's marked pretty good, but I know he will get better because he does not like seeing those.  J told me he was sorry for doing that and I told him that it was ok and I was proud of them.  I am.  Besides, there have been a lot of kisses, holding and hugs since the spanking and I really enjoy the closeness.  I am really proud of J and the effort he put forth last night.  I'm a little ginger, but a whole lot loved.

Until next time,
Jadedjewel

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! HAPPY SPANKINGS!!!

Not much to write about lately, at least in the spanking world.  I intend to post a story from a book I got over Christmas, but I have not done so yet.  I will get to that today, hopefully.  J is going in for a minor? surgery tommorrow.  Hopefully, he should feel a lot better when it's over.  He's been sick to his stomach a lot lately, so they are going to fix that.

I started another blog, but did not attach it to this because the nature of the two blogs is not connected.  If you are interested in checking it out the blog address is fightingforourfreedom.blogspot.com.  It is very clearly stated what it is about.  Please keep comments separate and I would appreciate the same courtesy there as I receive from all of you here.  Agreeing to disagree is fine, just please avoid rude behavior.

I really do appreciate all of you for your support in our LDD life and look forward to much growth in this area next year.  I want to wish you all a very Happy New Year and a year full of Happy Spankings!

BLOOM WHERE YOUR PLANTED!

Until next time,
Jadedjewel

I'm Still Here!!!

Sorry, everyone! I haven't posted since last weekend. I have been doing some Christmas baking, finishing up on laundry, keeping up on the dishes, several unexpected calls from work, and we had a friend pass away just yesterday. Throw in a little deer hunting in the middle of that and needless to say I have been a busy girl. Not much computer time when you stay busy...hmmm imagine that. Well, I'm not busy today, so without further ado, let us continue on this wonderful venture we call LDD.


I believe that J is getting the hang of it. He told me this weekend that if I wanted LDD he was fine with that and he would work on getting more comfortable with the spanking part of it. However, there are other ways to discipline without spanking. Granted, they don't offer the catharsis, but between J and me, very effective. Let me explain. The other night J went to bed early (I'll get to the dishes, I promise). He told me I could stay up and I told him I would be to bed about 9:30. Guess what? I didn't get to bed at 9:30. No, it was more like 1:00. The next day was his birthday, and of course I was tired. To top it off I had a morning shift at 7:00 and then I got called in on another shift until 5:00. I didn't get any rest, no cake baked, nothing done for his birthday. He understood because I did end up working all day 7:00-5:00 so that wasn't a big deal. But he wasn't tired and I was. Too bad for me, I had to stay up with him anyway. It was his birthday and he wasn't going to bed right away and he told me he went to bed early in the first place so he could stay up tonight with me. So we were staying up. He didn't allow me to be grouchy about it either. It doesn't sound bad, but when I get tired I want to go to bed right now or I get grumpy. No bed and no grumpy about it. It was my fault for staying up all night. We had a nice evening and I made him some peanut butter fudge so it wasn't a total disaster, but I don't think I'll be staying up late for a while.

I do have one bad thing to report. I threw a fit later that night about something, probably because I was tired. J wasn't happy about it, but he simply told me that if I wanted to throw a fit I could do it with someone else. That stopped me in my tracks. Maybe I was hoping for a spanking, but apparantly that wasn't the best way to go about it. Instead, I almost lost him. I am NEVER throwing another fit about anything ever again. I don't want to lose the only man that has ever loved me. God, I am so stupid sometimes. Oh, help.

OK, back to the dishes. I read J all the posts and comments. I even read him my comments back to my readers. When I read to him the comments regarding just using the "command tone" and telling me to just do it and that he probably wouldn't even have to spank me, he did just that. He was going out to clean out his pick-up. I had until the time he was done to have one load running in the dishwasher and another load ready to go in. Not that I was pushing or anything, but I did tell him if he wasn't serious it wasn't going to do any good in the long run. He asked me if I wanted a spanking now to show me how serious he was. It had been over a week since he had bought me dishwasher soap. By the time he was done with his pick-up, every dish in the house was rinsed and ready to go and the dishwasher was running. The kitchen was almost clean. The kitchen hasn't been clean for months. He came inside and looked around almost in shock. "That's all it took?" he asked me. I told him yep and asked him if he was impressed. "Yes, very impressed." I do have another load ready to go in the dishwasher and I will have that done before J gets home from work tonight. So the dishes are done, and we can chalk one up for LDD! YEAH!!

The "motivation" he gave me has spilt over into other parts of my life. I actually got some Christmas baking done. I hadn't done any of that yet. I also got the rest of the kitchen cleaned up. The deep freeze was impossible to get into because of the stacks of papers and other stuff on it. I cleared a place for the dishwasher, so it wasn't in the middle of the kitchen and watered all my plants, for which I am sure they are extremely grateful. Not too bad for the naughty, lazy girl for I've been for quite a while. I am trying to be better because I know that it pleases J. Not to mention, it keeps me out of trouble. ;)

Until next time...
Jadedjewel

I didn't skip the paragraph!

I read it to him, didn't want to, but I did.  All I have to say is I'm a lucky girl to have a forgiving HOH.  I know I'll be luckier when he's not so forgiving, however, I'm not exactly looking forward to my next discipline spanking.  I much prefer good-girl spankings.

***I will call my HOH "J" from now on.  He has agreed to let me do this here.  The reason for me asking this of him is I find myself detaching emotionally from the blog because I can't put his name in here.  This is, and should be I think, a very intimate and personal thing for me.  I don't want to detach myself from my blog in any way.  I want to truly speak from the heart.  I hope to touch the hearts of my readers.  I wish to portray LDD in a positive light. 

Due to the nature of the content that this post has led me on I must include this warning:
DO NOT introduce LDD into an already abusive relationsip. This could possibly have detremental effects to you.  You could possibly end up in a Master/Slave relationship from which it could take years to escape.  My best advice would be to LEAVE IMMEDIATELY.  Call the National Domestic Abuse Hotline at 1-800-799-7233.  They will connect you to the closest office that can protect you and help you get out.  They will relocate you to any location of your choice, including state to state, and provide you with the resources to get resettled.  ***DO IT AFRAID, JUST DO IT***

A proper canidate for your HOH will already be compassionate, giving, kind, and love you unconditionally.  Please pardon the "canidate" word, dear HOHs.  Suggestions?

It's such a beautiful thing that LDD brings to the hearts of those that make this a part of their life.  Many of us, including me, call LDD a "lifestyle" and "TTWD" (this thing we do).  I think it's such a natural part of life that I almost don't understand why it isn't the norm.  It's the internal make-up God has given us, and it's something, it seems, that every woman out there that's "missing something" is looking for.  Could you imagine the marriages that could be saved?  The broken hearts that could be healed?  The children that would grow up so happy and healthy with the dad and mom God gave them?  Could you imagine the change in America if we all adopted this "lifestyle"? 

There is nothing wrong with being a strong woman.  Emotionally we are strong.  God made us that way.  But that also makes us build walls, become stubborn and illogical.  Thank the Lord that He gave us to sensible, logical, stronger counterparts to keep our emotions in check.  Checks and balances.  It's the way it's supposed to be.  So natural. 

I want to make a call to all women everywhere to give back the reins to whom they belong.  Learn how to make this a part of your life.  Learn how to "build" your man to be your perfect HOH.  Start submitting now.  This DOESN'T mean become a doormat.  It means to allow him to say yea or nay without you pitching a fit.  If he asks you to do something, smile and do it.  Don't push his buttons.  Behave yourself at all times.  Remember you don't really want a Discipline spanking and you don't want to force him to having to give you one.  Trust me, it is possible to screw up all by yourself without trying to.

Introduce it slowly!!!!!!!!  BE PATIENT!!!!!!  If he truly loves you this will be very hard for him and it may take him some time, even months, to get comfortable with the idea of spanking you.  Respect that.  Do not brat, or be naughty on purpose to push him to spank you.  J and I have been together for 3 months shy of two years.  He has spanked me in the bedroom pretty much from the beginning. But  "Discipline" spanking is a whole other ball game.  You are asking him to hurt you.  You are asking him to make you cry.  You are asking A HELL OF A LOT.  I recommend purchasing Loving Domestic Discipline, reading it cover to cover and then giving it to your future HOH and allowing him all the time in the world he needs to read and absorb it. 

It may seem that your HOH is not "getting it" (understanding what LDD is about and your desperate need for it).  But in actuality, ladies, this is not true.  Men's brains are not empty, anymore than yours is.  Men are very analytical and once they choose to do something, they usually do it.  They must be allowed the time to make that choice.  When you introduce the LDD into your life the first thing they think about is all the things they have been taught about girls and all the things that could go wrong.  Then once they get past that, and if you're patient he will, then they start thinking can I really do this?  I love her, can I really do that to her?  Can I really make her cry?  Can I spank her properly?  Can I push myself to do that?  This seems to me the process that takes the most time.

If you continue to be as submissive as possible, then you will see his confidence grow.  He will begin using the "command tone".  Do not baulk at this or you'll blow it.  He may even begin giving little "threats".  This is a sign of progress.  He is starting to open up to the fact that he is the man and he wears the pants.  He is also opening to the idea of spanking you.  You may have recieved a spanking or two by this time, probably in the bedroom. This is his way of testing the waters.  This might be a good time to introduce him to blogs about LDD on the internet, if he is interested, or start your own.  You're starting to get excited and might be trying to rush things a bit.  DON'T.  Again, be patient.  It's decision time and you don't want to influence that decision negatively.  I know, I almost blew it myself last week. This is the point where J is now.

What happens next?  After this point I am relatively unhelpful.  We are not there yet.  There are many books and blogs out there that address the advanced stages of LDD.  I hope to lead you through our progress to that stage.  If anyone feels they have an answer to that queston for me...please comment.  I love the comments, even if they are just short ones.  I read every one.  

Until next time...
Jadedjewel

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!

We have had many things to dread this year, but this is a time to stop and be thankful for all the things we do have.  Family, friends, new opportunities, love, respect, joy and SPANKINGS!

Let's all remember to thank our HOH's for their unwavering support this year!  Have a wonderful Holiday everyone!

Be Good and if you can't be good at least be good at it!